Day 76 of 98 – Where I am?

4 Dec

Sometimes I wake up and I don’t know where I am. Often this happens in the middle of the day when I’m already awake. Take right now, for instance. I’m in Germany playing cards (eucher) with a friend who I know from Ottawa and the hockey game playing in the background. There’s nothing about the situation that says, “hey man, you’re in Germany”. All interaction is in English. The snack food is peanuts (lightly salted). Bob Cole is telling us what’s happening on the ice and the beer is cold.

At this point in time, right now, I think you can understand why I’m unsure about where exactly I am.

Confused, would we?

All of this makes me wonder if globalization might actually be a good thing. If my brain can be tricked into thinking that Germany is Canada then it can’t all be bad. But the real challenge would be to make Canadians think they are somewhere else. I wonder what would have to be changed in Canada to make its citizens feel like they are in another country. I wonder what we’d have to change…

  • England – change the accent of our English-speaking citizens to cockney, soccer on the telly twenty-four/seven
  • France – change the accent of our french-speaking citizens to France accent, eliminate breakfast and supper – at the remaining meal only serve cheese.
  • Sweden – install disco balls in all public locations, make Glögg the national drink.
  • Germany – eliminate our archaic public drinking and nudity laws, trains everywhere.
  • Finland – cover the RIM logos on our mobile phones with little Nokia stickers, release billions of mosquitoes into the atmosphere
  • Switzerland – make sure all business are closed everyday by 15:00, be neutral about everything.
  • United States – change the default language on our Internet browsers to “American English”, continue as normal.

And it does not have to be like this all the time. We could make these changes for a fixed period – say, ten days. I think this is much easier than giving Canadian workers two weeks vacation each year.

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