Day 5 of 11: Someone Bring the Hospital to me

3 Jul

I seem to have gotten sick here in Finland. Believe you me you don’t want to get ill when you are on the road – you want to stay in good health.

The problem with getting sick when traveling is that you have to deal with a foreign medical system and non-English drug label warnings. For example, right now I’m taking twelve different medications for each of the dozen or so different symptoms I’m currently experiencing.

  • Vicks Vapo-rub for my sore throat
  • Honey and water for my dehydration
  • Advil for my headache
  • NyQuil for my runny nose
  • Vodka for my nervousness
  • Beer for my awakeness
  • Caffeine for my drowsiness
  • Tabasco for  my congested sinuses
  • Eyedrops for my blurred vision
  • Garlic for the wolf bite (rub on the wound once a day every day until the next full moon)
  • Asprin to reduce my chance of heart disease (and to keep the Bayer AGA shareholders happy)
  • Codeine for my achey-breakey pelvis (got this when I fell down while line dancing at America Town)

Normally I would be forbidden from taking all these drugs simultaneously but because I cannot understand the labels it should be ok.

Itsehoitolaake. Tilapaisiin kipu- ja kuumetilooihin, kuten vilustumissairauksiin ja influenssan oireisiin, paasarkyyn, lihas- ja nivelkipuihin, reumasarkyyn, kuukautiskipuihin ja hammassarkyyn.

Also, it would take too much time to administer each remedy individually so I simply mix them all in food blender with some vanilla ice cream. Now that’s good eating!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: