I have to come clean. Things are getting out of hand here and the truth will come to light. I don’t want to be like those politicians that are discovered to be alien replicants two days before the election.
I lied to you. Remember that blog post last year where I wrote about the time I was in the army where I was first in my class in all the survival training courses? Well that wasn’t exactly true. See I was in the army but it was the Salvation Army. And I wasn’t taking any courses, I was trying to get rid of an old mattress.
I just got back from a supply run. The GF asked me to get some provisions in the event things get really bad tomorrow. I was walking around this tiny grocery store. They had lots of stuff but I had no idea what to buy. Here is what I ended up with.
Does anyone have a can opener?
I have no idea what I’m doing.
Die Hard Three 
In the immortal words of The Dead Dog Cafe Comedy Hour,
“Stay Calm, Be Brave, Wait for the Signs”.