Here Comes the Bribe!

14 Oct

Most times bribes are illegal but this one isn’t. The trick is, before you offer the gift, publish the plot’s details in an open forum (like this blog). Once it becomes publicly known, it cannot be used against you because for bribes to be effective they need to be kept secret. The police officers conducting the interview are going to look pretty stupid demanding answers to questions that can be found with the simplest Google search.

On that note, tomorrow my parents are driving to Southern Ontario to visit with my brother and as I previously mentioned, two of the pies I made last week will be used as bribes to get him to watch the movie Avatar with me.

These pies are rolling and there's no stopping them.

These pies are rolling and there’s no stopping them.

Thanks mom and dad for taking them down. I’m publishing all this in order to prevent any possible prosecution. If I don’t post this, you could both be arraigned on charges of assisted bribery, conspiracy to commit bribery, and conspiracy to commit conspiracy. I know that last one sounds redundant but it’s an actual law. You should really go read some of the criminal code changes the government enacted during the Vancouver Olympics (or as I like to call them “the Great and Expensive Taxpayer Distraction”).

Dad, remember to email me and let me know when the “package is delivered” (if you can’t remember what that means refer to the card I gave you this morning – the green one with all the codewords).

One Response to “Here Comes the Bribe!”

  1. Dad October 15, 2013 at 07:38 #

    do you mean the plastic one with the 20 printed in the corner

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