Day 16 – Johnny Unitas

1 Oct

Maybe one indication that I’m getting proficient in German is my ability to become annoyed after an engagement conducted entirely in my third language. The transaction in question was one that I had forecast well in advance and I figured it would be the second easiest thing I would do during my 13 weeks here in Germany. I was wrong.

So if you think my views on child-rearing are utilitarian, wait till you hear my thoughts on haircuts. When it comes to visiting the hairdresser some people in my family are anarchists (e.g. they get their hair cut once every sixty months) and others, like me, a more civilized every three to four weeks. And as you can tell from my photos I’m in dire need of one.

Now I’m thinking “end to end this should take five minutes”. I’m basing this on what I did in the morning: traveled effortlessly on public transportation (changing trains a total of three times – two outbound, one for the return trip) across half the city. I didn’t have to wait more than three minutes for any of the five trains I had to catch. Implementing an effective public transportation system is really hard and the Germans have done such a good job at this sort of thing I’m thinking they’ve probably got a robot or something that will cut my hair in like 3 minutes. I only need a number 4.

Sadly, there was no robot.

I’m waking down Schlesiches Tor Strasse and I pass this hair salon. I pop in and the woman working there asks me to come back in one hour – for my 5 minute haircut. Ok… so when I do come back she motions me to sit on the sofa to wait. After witting for fifteen minutes she tells me it’s going to be another fifteen or twenty minutes. Now I’m a patient person but I just spent my first 15 minutes watching the other hairdresser tease the bangs of her client while applying enough hairspray to burn a hole in the ozone layer the size of Texas. She could have cut my hair twice in the amount of time it took her to finish with Goldilocks.

Basically all the worst parts of the bible.

So I bail out of there and I return to the pub to work on my blog. Here I sit, my hair a complete mess, but kinda happy I was able to get upset in German. One step closer to being complete.

Note: for a return trip, the number of trains waited for is equal to the number of transfers plus two (the wait for the first outbound train and for the first return train)

6 Responses to “Day 16 – Johnny Unitas”

  1. Lottabot October 1, 2011 at 18:31 #

    I still don’t understand why you just don’t do it yourself, Mr Finance Streamline.
    P.s I get a hair cut once a year.

    • Die Hard Three October 1, 2011 at 20:09 #

      My clippers are in Ottawa. Believe you me though, they had an extra chair – I almost asked.

      • Lottabot October 1, 2011 at 23:39 #

        Get new and better ones! You’re in the promised land of engineers and the only thing you’re going to buy is a toilet bowl… Jebus.

  2. Die Hard Three October 2, 2011 at 00:04 #

    I don’t need clippers. I only need a toilet.

  3. Thea October 2, 2011 at 15:03 #

    well… in Germany Haircut mostly means Scissors, but therefore my husband looked like fresh for military when he entered a Canadian barber for the first time. Try a hair cutter chain in one of the shopping malls… they are mostly fast and not that bad. Otherwise get an appointment.

    • Die Hard Three October 2, 2011 at 19:39 #

      See, the thing is I did make an appointment. There was just a 30 minute delay finishing the previous customer for some reason. I still look like a hippie though.

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