Die Hard Three

Someone should make a movie about a guy who travels to a far-away land for his girlfriend’s grandparent’s 60th wedding anniversary where he meets the majority of her immediate and extended family for the first time and ends up spending a few hours sitting naked with them in an eighty-degree Celsius heated room interrupted periodically by visits to the freezing cold lake.

It’s an action drama but for comedic relief every time the protagonist goes into the living room he hits his head on the light fixtures hanging from the ceiling.

Hilarious!

This traveling part of my vacation has been…. let’s say… non-standard. First up I paid $1400 for the flight – way more than I’m used to spending (peak season travel to a “remote” part of the world). Second, I had two stopovers – I usually try to minimize those.

Speaking of stopovers, in Halifax I met a fellow Canadian who was also flying through Iceland but she was going to meet her boyfriend in Holland. I try not to be evangelical but when it comes to traveling, sometimes I cannot help myself. So Mackenzie, here is your link.

Come join us on the other side. It’s beautiful!

In Iceland while writing my postcards I shared a table with a woman from Vladivostok. I have to visit this place sometime. Russia is a massive country.

Third the multiple stopovers have confused me because each was in a different timezone and currently I don’t know when now is.

Fourth, the days are so long here that midnight is about 20:00 back home.

Doesn’t seem like 23:00 does it?

And finally, we’re staying in a motel similar to the one we stayed in when I was a kid on the fishing trip when I almost got hit by a train.

There’s a track nearby but the trains are whisper-quiet. Thank God.

Help me count the ironies!

Irony courtesy of Iceland Air. Irony’s favourite airline.

I now know why Percy Jackson decided to film his Hobbit movies in Iceland. Just look at this.

I have this ongoing debate with a friend of mine; it’s been raging for years. We’re trying to figure out the answer to the age-old question – at what point can you say you’ve visited a country?

You think it’s straightforward, but you’re wrong.

There are many schools of thought on the subject but one thing is clear – a passport stamp is not sufficient (or in some cases even necessary). The most important thing is to partake in the culture of the country in question. Some examples would be, eating the local cuisine, visiting some giant corporate art, being gouged on the price of a postage stamp, experiencing the weather and landscape. For example on my most recent trip to Japan we ate every meal at America Town. We might as well have been in Toronto. Oh, and you have to physically leave the airport / train station / bus depot / ferry terminal / dirigible landing platform / spaceport.

By the definition I have myself created in the previous paragraph I have now visited the country of Iceland. Take that Lemon. What a magical land it is. There are airports as far as the eye can see. And car rental agencies. Many car rental agencies. Check it:

Legend has it that the first Transformer was conceived right here in Iceland.

I was very hungry after my flight.

The world’s first “e-yogurt”

Some of you will be receiving a postcard mailed from this very box.

Most of you will have settle for Visa bills and junkmail from a former Olympian explaining why he’s the best guy to sell your house.

The landscape was amazing!

Check out this vegetation.

And these clouds.

I wonder what they’re made of.

I’ve become so comfortable. This place… it’s like I’ve lived here my whole life

and never bothered to learn the local language.

We have this expression here in Iceland:

A nation knows when three know.

It’s a reference to our tiny airport-based economy and similarly-scaled infrastructure. Well, that and the fact that the population of the entire country numbers in the hundreds. What’s important to know is that us Icelanders are a very private people. We have a private island. A private language.  And when it comes to preventing the spread of personal information it’s clear what needs to be done. The expression leaves no ambiguity – one of the other two people must be eliminated. This may sound a bit extreme but when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. With the third person out of the picture, the number of people that “know” will fall below the critical “three” threshold and the remaining individual will fall into line pretty damn fast.

Problem solved.

Hello everyone, I’m back for another eleven or so days of blogging. Right now I’m composing this post while watching Miami Vice (2006) in German (of course). I should be packing. I figure if I stay up late enough tonight I’ll be able to sleep the entire flight.

I’m annoyed with my flight plan (as I was Flightplan) but for different reasons. I bought my ticket without realizing that the if the Euro Cup semi final goes into overtime I’ll miss the end of the game. And sure enough my team (Germany) is playing against some other country’s team (I forget which one). Either way, I’m looking forward to the match.

Nice try.

You’re all probably wondering where I’m traveling to. You’ll have to be patient – it will be revealed in good time. And now I must return to my movie. Colin Farrell seems to have gotten himself into some sort of trouble.