Day 1 of 4: I should be watching the new James Bond film

27 Oct

Living all my life in America Junior has spoiled me. We got lots of nature, high-speed Internet, free condoms at work (just ask the nurse), and both coasts are Disney-themepark-free. And for the longest time we got all the good movies before everyone else (take that Europe, Africa, and New South Wales!) But now the foreign markets have become so important economically that some Hollywood studios have started releasing movies outside of North America in advance of the domestic release.

There are several reasons why delayed domestic release is a stupid idea and all of them related to my mild severe OCD affliction.

The economy is this giant complex thing that gets to decides who lives and who dies. This is why I find it strange that no one knows how it really works. For most other things, when the stakes are high, you spend at least ten minutes trying to figure out the important bits.

There are some people who claim to know how the economy works but these people have never been to New York City. After walking around this place for five minutes it’s obvious that the stability of the entire planet hinges on humans not figuring out three things

1. you don’t need to buy useless crap

2. it’s perfectly fine to cook, eat, and drink with your friends at home

3. television shows and movie pictures can be viewed the next day / week from the Internet

The person who set up this economy should be fired (out of a cannon). We’re only a couple of realizations away from everyone being plunged into Mad Max times. So here is my message for the citizens of Earth:

If one day you find yourself working on a political system, weapon, policy, law, concept, trade embargo, or ideology or anything that has a chance of turning society into one where the film The Road Warrior could be found in the Educational section of some future video library, you need to make this “Mad Max requirement” the defining aspect of your work. Continually ask yourself, does this project have a non-zero chance of turning our world into one where old hockey pads will be the only body armour available to defend against roving bands of gasoline-starved bandits? Do whatever you can to make sure this does not happen.

The citizens of city-that-has-a-massive-year-round-outdoor-ice-skating-rink-but-only-has-below-freezing-temperatures-for two-months-of-the-year will thank you.

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