My Trip to Australia

I know you are all dying to hear about the bank robbery I witnessed and my bumping into Australian screen legend / teen heartthrob Hugh Jackman. Before I get into all that I think a reminder is in order – you don’t come here for tales of shootouts and celebrity gossip. You read my blog for the in-depth analysis of urban transportation and utility infrastructure.

Like most visitors to this amazing city, I’m fascinated by the different utility access covers on the sidewalks and roads here in Sydney.

I can only imagine what’s under there.

They have access holes for every underground service imaginable. There’s gas.

Lots of gas

There’s covers for water valves

For filling up the low-flow German wall-mounted toilets.

And covers for mobile phone switches.

For ordering the low-flow German wall-mounted toilets.

There’s water and sewers combined

For the filling and emptying of low-flow German wall-mounted toilets.

There’s the mark of Slytherin.

Not exactly sure what they’re up to.

One can get access to the traffic signals via this cover.

If you’re planning a heist and you need to ensure a traffic-jam-free getaway.

Under this cover is located the mechanism to activate the Australian shadow government.

I opened it up and it appears to have been enabled for some time now.

They have no overt markings so I call these ones The Mystery Manholes (not coincidentally that’s also the working title of a novel I’m currently writing).

It’s an anthropological docudrama. Estimated completion date: December 2027.

Who knew that Brad Pitt has his own line of Australian plumbing access covers? Probably not Brad Pitt.

I think someone is trying to steal his identity.