The Plan

1 Apr

So as some of you may have heard, in a few weeks I’m going to be switching gears career-wise. Many people have told me my decision is not-wise but I don’t think that’s the case.

You remember how much energy I put into bringing all those toilets back from Germany? Well I’ve put almost as much thought into this life-altering decision. So here it is: I’m going to be leaving my high-paying, low-stress, super-secure, benefits-packing, pension-matching, windowless government job to follow my one true love: jigsaw puzzles.

I know what you’re all thinking,

“Jason, don’t be an idiot. You can’t follow a jigsaw puzzle. They’re stationary.”

Yeah, I know how puzzles work. I’ve been puzzling since before you had email. Puzzling ignorance aside, it was actually a pretty easy decision. Here is the logic:

1. Motor skills and mental abilities diminish with age.

2. Motor skills and mental abilities are needed to make jigsaw puzzles.

3. Ergo, I must puzzle now while my motor skills and mental abilities are reasonably intact.

When you think about it, there isn’t much room to manoeuvre – I don’t really have any choice in the matter. And all you free-willies out there who claim that “you always have a choice” – prove yourself right by choosing not to go into work for the rest of the week.

And those of you who are not working: choose to bake me a pie. Strawberry-rhubarb please.

And those of you who are not working: choose to bake me a pie. Strawberry-rhubarb please.

So there you have it – forty-seven days from now I’ll be out celebrating with some friends trying to figure out how to wake up every morning without an alarm clock. But don’t worry about me, I already have a bunch of ideas on how to solve this problem.

and I'm looking forward to testing them out.

and I’m looking forward to trying all of them.

3 Responses to “The Plan”

  1. Jesse April 1, 2013 at 09:15 #

    Totally wise. And awesome!

    • Die Hard Three April 1, 2013 at 09:29 #

      Thanks Jesse. I was worried I was going to have to fend off accusations that this is some sort of elaborate April Fool’s Day prank. This is the real deal.


  1. May 17 | Die Hard Three - April 26, 2013

    […] those of you who read my April 1 post and were too lazy calculate the date I’m leaving work, it’s May 17, […]

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