The Plan

So as some of you may have heard, in a few weeks I’m going to be switching gears career-wise. Many people have told me my decision is not-wise but I don’t think that’s the case.

You remember how much energy I put into bringing all those toilets back from Germany? Well I’ve put almost as much thought into this life-altering decision. So here it is: I’m going to be leaving my high-paying, low-stress, super-secure, benefits-packing, pension-matching, windowless government job to follow my one true love: jigsaw puzzles.

I know what you’re all thinking,

“Jason, don’t be an idiot. You can’t follow a jigsaw puzzle. They’re stationary.”

Yeah, I know how puzzles work. I’ve been puzzling since before you had email. Puzzling ignorance aside, it was actually a pretty easy decision. Here is the logic:

1. Motor skills and mental abilities diminish with age.

2. Motor skills and mental abilities are needed to make jigsaw puzzles.

3. Ergo, I must puzzle now while my motor skills and mental abilities are reasonably intact.

When you think about it, there isn’t much room to manoeuvre – I don’t really have any choice in the matter. And all you free-willies out there who claim that “you always have a choice” – prove yourself right by choosing not to go into work for the rest of the week.

And those of you who are not working: choose to bake me a pie. Strawberry-rhubarb please.

So there you have it – forty-seven days from now I’ll be out celebrating with some friends trying to figure out how to wake up every morning without an alarm clock. But don’t worry about me, I already have a bunch of ideas on how to solve this problem.

and I’m looking forward to trying all of them.