One does not simply walk into Algonquin Park. Actually you can, but it’s really big. And far away. It could take days or even months to reach your destination. Also you have to get a permit. And make a campground reservation. And pay an administration fee. In fact, there are a surprising number of rules that campers have to abide by while in the Park. Based on the experience from this latest trip some were easy to follow, while others… not so much.
One of the easy ones was the no alcohol in the interior rule. Beers, wines, and mixed drinks are heavy and with all the portages* it made absolutely no sense to bring a dozen Molson Canadian tall boys that would be warm anyway.
Another was the campfire rule. To prevent forest fires, campers are only allowed to make open fires in the designated fire pit. It was a good thing I had my lighter with me as Steve’s waterproof matches turned out to also be fireproof.
What is this? A fire for ants!?!
One of the not-so-easy-to-follow rules was the one requiring all campers to respect the wildlife. In the Park, interaction with any living thing that is not an insect is strictly forbidden. Snakes are not to be picked up no matter how freaked out the girls would be. The bear cubs in all their cuteness are are not to be hugged. The crayfish with their massive claws are not to be pitted in gladiator-style battles against each other. Even the plants are off limits – if you want firewood, you have to go find some dead trees and chop them up. If you’re hungry you can’t pic any of the berries.
These delicious specimens remained uneaten.
Of all the rules, this plant one affected me the most. The Food Committee (of which I was a member) planned a wonderful meal of campfire-cooked sausages for our first night’s supper. Everyone knows that when roasting wieners over an open fire you need to put them on a stick. Well to save on weight, I just figured we’d use some wood from around the campsite. Well after an hour of searching everyone was getting pretty hungry and each of us had to make do with what we could find.
I have to go talk to that Ollivander. The wand chooses the wizard? My ass it does.
Whatever. The sausages were pre-cooked so even if they were not nice and hot they were still safe to eat. I’ve learned my lesson. Next time I’m going to bring my own skewers from home.
* A portage is when you take all your gear and canoes and you walk around the parts of the river that are too dangerous to float through. The ones on this trip ranged in distance from 275-900 metres.
Die Hard Three 
What about the beautifully sized fish that our Spanish companion caught after fishing hard the whole day and u so easily discarded back to the water. sooo lame!!!
You guys were so happy when I did that. No one wanted to cut the head off that fish. Plus you would have had to use my knife and I would have used my veto power to prevent that from happening! 🙂