Die Hard Three

What did I find? Well I’m pretty sure Finland is not a “barren hellscape”. It’s more of an urban centre with good beers on tap. Also, this bar we went to had the neatest faucets in the bathrooms. The drying system was built right into the spout. Check this out.

They didn’t work very well but I think it’s a good start. I’m sure the company will improve on the design.

I also found a small caché of boardgames on my way back from the WC. Usually if a bar has just a couple of games it’s the crappy ones like Trivial Pursuit and Monopoly so I was quite surprised to see they had a Finnish copy of my favourite: Ticket to Ride.

My Finnish speaking friends tell me that the original name “Ticket to Ride” is untranslatable so the good people at Days of Wonder decided to call it “Menolippu” which means “One-way Ticket”.

I think this is another one of those examples of how language is reflective of culture. Any Finns out there should understand what I’m talking about.

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Yes a Finland. So I’m back in the north yet again. I think this is the fifth time I’ve been here.

Passing through immigration was interesting. While waiting my turn, I noticed that the agent serving the line next to the one I was in asked to see the return tickets for four non-olde-stock Canadians (an asian couple and two young Arab guys). The officer that served me, well, he just laughed at my jokes and waved me through.

Under normal conditions I might not have noticed the slight difference between how white me was treated compared to these other Canadians, but lately Finland and immigration have been making big news headlines.

The main story that’s been clogging up my Facebook feed is about this group of Iraqis who were trying to immigrate and when they arrived in Finland they claim to have found a “barren hellscape, suitable only for simulating the conditions astronauts would need to train to survive on Mars”. According to the article a bunch of them left the country to try their luck in Sweden.

It was their description of Finland caught my attention. Had things really changed that much in the twenty-eight months since my last visit? Well, as an official, self-accredited journalist it is my duty, neigh, my responsibility, to investigate their claims and report back what I find. My plan is to look around, take some pictures, and conduct some interviews at the pub tonight.

More to follow.

Things are not starting off well. In addition to signing up for a mobile Internet plan that has so far cost me $400 since I left home nine hours ago, I just realized that I forgot to pack my Japanese sleeping pillow. Ugh. Not a good scene.

Most people would call it quits after a setback like this but not me. You see I’m not afraid of diversity. From trying exotic new foods containing onions to falling asleep without an adequate number of pillows (three), I can power through almost anything.

But I will admit that it is pretty tempting – to cancel everything and stay comfortable, surrounded by the familiar of my homeland. At this exact moment the temptation is doubly strong because technically I still haven’t left Canada. I’m in Toronto waiting for my flight (which leaves tomorrow evening).

I still have a few hours to kill so I thought I would fill the void with some practice words before the real typing begins.

With each post I try to include (for my illiterate readers) at least one photo of my adventures. I don’t have any good photos of Toronto so here’s one I took last week during Killarney Hike 2015.

The original plan was to hike (with Steve) sixty-five kilometres over five days / four nights but bad weather forced us to make a new hike that was thirty-five kilometres and two-days / one night. After about five clicks on day one my left knee started to get sore and after two hours on day two (about twelve kilometres from the car) each step was like being stabbed in the knee with a thousand knives of fire.

So with nine kilometres left I was hobbling along at about half of my normal pace when we encountered a couple of Germans who were doing a day hike. I asked if they had any drugs and they responded in the positive! So these lovely Germans gave me two Ibuprofen 600s which made the pain go away.

Like I needed another reason to love the Germans.

Thanks guys! You never told us your names but statistically you’re Anna and Julia.

Normally when blogging one of my trips I like to give my readers a preview of my adventures with some sort of travel roadmap or, depending on how I’m getting around, skymap. But today I decided against providing any clues, hints, inklings, or innuendo as to where I’m going or what I have planned.

While the absence of any detailed spoilers will terrify my mother, I think my blogging will be better for it. I came across a famous quote the other day that illustrates what I’m trying to accomplish:

 “Brevity is the soul of wit”.

I have no idea what it means and I can’t even look it up on the Google because it’s too expensive to open any unnecessary tabs in my browser – my new mobile Internet plan has me paying by the packet. One hundred thousand packets for ten dollars may sound impressive but it is not.

Anyway, what I think that William Shakesman was trying to tell us is that no one wants to read anything any more. But this isn’t my problem – if you want to find out where I am and what I’m up to you’re going to have to click through or try and guess from the preview pictures.