Should left-leaning voters pay $15 to join the Conservative Party of Canada?

11 Nov

Of course not, don’t be stupid.

There’s been a lot of talk these days about how to stave off a Trump-like phenomenon in Canada. Make no mistake, there’s a real chance someone like him could find his way into power up here. This is because our Parliamentary system of government ensures that

a) there will be an election within the next four years and
b) our leaders are chosen by a small number of party members and not by the regular people like they do in America

One thing I read (I can’t remember where) was that the best way to prevent CanTrump from happening, is to join the Conservative Party of Canada and vote in their leadership contest to ensure the party does not elect some crazy right-wing, crazy xenophobic, misogynistic, two-faced asshat as their leader.

And on the surface, this sounds like a great plan.

The idea that there will be a Canadian election during the first (and hopefully last) Trump Administration combined with the fact that a very small subset of Canadian voters directly choose our political leaders sounds terrifying. But is it really?

I did some research on the Google, and what I found might surprise you.

They first thing I discovered is that in Canadian federal elections, we without fail, alternate winners every two to four elections between the Liberals and the Conservatives. No one party is in for just a single term. It’s so predictable you could set your calendar to it. So the next election is going to go to the Liberals – you don’t have to worry about that one.

Second, the only way a Trump-like leader would be attractive up north, is if the actual Trump leader down south runs things nice and smoothly over the next four years. And that’s totally going to happen.

Not!

If the Conservative Party is stupid enough to copy our friends to the south and run on a platform of racism they deserve all the votes they’re not going to get. One unifying aspect of Canadian culture is that most of us see ourselves as not American. I imagine this sentiment will be particularly strong over the next four years.

Third, if you give $15 to the Conservative Party of Canada, you’re giving actual MONEY to a party that wants to make abortion illegal, drill for oil in centre of downtown Winnipeg, buy a bunch of useless jets, lower taxes, and cut social programs. Think about this before you click on the “submit payment” button.

And if none of that resonates with you, here’s a more personal angle for you to consider:

A couple of years ago I stupidly gave my primary email address to the Liberal Party of Canada’s webpage. I forget exactly why I did this, but what I do remember is that since that day I’ve been inundated with tonnes of spam email, spam physical mail, and (recently) phone calls asking me to vote for some lady named Nathalie Des Rosiers. And if this is what you get for free, I can only imagine what happens if you give them actual money. They probably come in person, right up to your front door in the middle of supper to try and talk to you about God knows what.

The best thing you can do to prevent the emergence of a Trump Canada is to ensure that we spend tax dollars on infrastructure not jets, social programs not tax cuts, and keep the corruption to an absolute minimum. How does one accomplish any of this? I have no idea. But the one thing I do know, is that giving money to the people who want the opposite might not be the best course of action.

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