On the question of Tower Bridge: I am not a supporter.

I do not approve of when people use the term “fans” to describe supporters of their political opponents. It’s a little dismissive and very much inaccurate. The correct term is, like I used in the previous sentence, “supporter”.

With that in mind, I would like to report that on the question of Tower Bridge: I am one hundred percent NOT a supporter – when it comes to crossing the river Thames, for me it’s London Bridge or you take a boat. It’s that simple.

London Bridge

London Bridge is all business, which is exactly what you want in a bridge. She sits there and does her job day in and day out – you never hear any complaints. With sensible box girder construction made from concrete and steel, she doesn’t pull any punches. In fact, she doesn’t even try to hit anyone at all.

Stupid Tower Bridge

Compare that with Tower Bridge who is needlessly complex and comically oversized. His two garish walkways serve no purpose whatsoever and it seems like they’re repainting him in different colours every time the Queen has a birthday. What a huge waste of time and money if you ask me.

I think it’s a travesty that our children are taught from such a young age that it’s London Bridge that’s at risk of collapsing. Just take a look at the two photos above and tell me which bridge it is you’re more afraid of.

To correct this wrong, the song should be changed immediately. I suggest the following:

London Bridge is standing strong,
Standing strong, standing strong.
London Bridge is standing strong,
My fair lady.

To my readers who have children and / or childcare / education facilities – you know what needs to be done. So let’s get started, we have a lot of work to do.