Day 0 of ? – Blog Time

27 Feb

Hello everyone! I’m back on the travel blog for the next few weeks and I’m really looking forward to sharing with you the highlights of my latest adventure. And while I like to think that most of the trips I write about are unique, I feel this time it’s going to be uniquely unique. Special if you will. Here’s what I mean.

Uniqueness Factor One – I don’t know for long I’m going to be away.

Most of my travels are fixed duration – there is a known departure and a return date. But for this trip I’m flying out on a one-way ticket (Menolippu!) Maybe you noticed the subtle difference in the title of this post compared to those of previous trips. My traditional travel blog title syntax takes the form of Day [X] of [N] followed by a dash then [Something Stupid], where [X] is the current day, [N] is the total number of days I plan to be away, and [Something Stupid] is whatever happens to be rattling around in my noggin at the time of writing.

Why don’t I have a return ticket? You’ll have to check back tomorrow to find out!

Uniqueness Factor Two – I’m going to be working on this trip.

Yup, you read that correctly – I got a job. I know. I’m as surprised as you are. I’m going to have actual responsibilities that are not cat or dog-sitting. And while I’m not going to reveal just yet exactly what the job is, I will say that it will involve water, the shifts are eight hours long, and my boss told me I have to bring with me a bunch of expensive gear that will protect me from dying.

Uniqueness Factor Three – One of the legs on this one-way ticket is a fifteen-hour flight and I’ve never done a flight that long before.

I written before about air travel and passenger jets – specifically regarding fuel consumption and the cost thereof. But this trip has me wondering/worried about how it’s even possible for a commercial airliner to be in the air for that long. How much of a reserve do they carry? What if there’s an unexpected headwind? Fifteen hours is a long flight.

Uniqueness Factor Four – There was a surprising amount of sex and nudity on the in-flight movie I just watched on the seat-mounted display.

What a strange experience. For like the first forty minutes it was really tame. There was no violence and it didn’t even have any swears – just a bunch of people standing around talking. Then all of a sudden two of the characters started in-person sexting each other!

Growing uncomfortable with the situation (the screens are visible from behind for at least two rows) and not knowing for how long the scene would last, I decided to engage the fast forwarded. But I overshot past the end and missed some dialogue from the next scene. So I had to rewind and I ended up overshooting again but this time back *into* the sex scene I was trying to escape. None of this improved the situation. And this happened like three more times before the end of the movie. I’m listening to music now and trying to be a normal passenger.

Uniqueness Factor Five – I had to check luggage leaving Canada.

I was a little nervous because it’s been almost seven years since I’ve done this (I’m a strong believer in carry-on-only travel). But the Air Canada guy at the desk was super helpful and there were zero problems. I remember the last time I checked a bag leaving Canada my fear was that I’d forget that I’d checked anything and (by force of habit) end up abandoning it at the luggage carousel. I don’t think that will be a problem this time – I’m dreading the last mile where I have to physically carry it to where I’m staying and this weighs heavy on my mind.

So there’s your teaser – check back tomorrow to find out where I’m going and what I’ll be doing. I’ve got fifteen hours in the air to put together a mildly interesting post. I promise nothing.

*Note: I’m a pro at checking luggage for the return flight home.

Flight 1

Yours truly madly typing, pretending to be.


9 Responses to “Day 0 of ? – Blog Time”

  1. Anonymous Person February 27, 2018 at 08:40 #

    Was it forty minutes of the plumber explaining why he had to lay pipe?

    • Die Hard Three February 27, 2018 at 10:47 #

      lol no! it was talking about jobs (the boring kind) and workplace politics.

  2. Jason Chapman (@jasonAchapman) February 27, 2018 at 16:32 #

    From the department of corrections:
    I’ve been on a flight with you that was 19 hours (technically, 17 hours and then a 2 hour connecting flight). So, that’s your record right there. This should be child’s play.

    • Die Hard Three February 28, 2018 at 01:49 #

      The Toronto to Santiago flight was only around 10 hours (I checked). It just felt like 17 cause you were sitting next to me! But I also checked YVR to SYD is 15 1/2 hours – I did this back in 2012… soooo……

      • Jason Chapman (@jasonAchapman) March 1, 2018 at 13:28 #

        i can confirm that it shows flights that are ten hours, right now. But, i’m close to positive that it wasn’t ten hours for us. Time of year? Slower speeds for gas mileage? Wind storms (lots of turbulence on that flight)? And the flight back was shorter than the trip down.
        I tried to find my flight ticket but only found the bus to Iguazu which I think I saved because they printed my name “Hason Chapman”.

  3. Jason Chapman (@jasonAchapman) February 27, 2018 at 16:33 #

    Also? I wish you had leaned into that nudity laced in-flight movie instead of panicking like a startled nun. Better story and probably better in-flight conversations!

  4. Jack March 1, 2018 at 15:28 #


    Water, life, unique, your birthday is coming up. Let me see, Google AI suggest a birthing clinic?

    Are you going to work at a hospital or nmid-wifery centre?

    Google predicts 93% accuracy in its prediction.


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