Day 17 of ? – When Animals Attack!

18 Mar

(I don’t usually say this, but you should probably click through this time)

Since I’ve been in Australia I’ve gone on two separate mini-trips to play with puppies and do laundry visit with friends. One of the best things about knowing a local in a strange land is they are well positioned to tell you how their country is most likely to kill you. As I mentioned before, Australians are terrible at evaluating non-Aussie dangers but I have to admit they are quite adept at surviving in their own country.

So as a thanks to all the givers (and a notice for all the takers), here are some of the people and things on this trip that have kept me alive as well as some others who have tried to do the opposite.

Fern (life saver)


After three terrifying weeks walking the streets of NSW and the ACT my good friend who works in a HOSPITAL informed me that in Australia cars have the right-of-way. Was it wrong and racist of me to assume every single Aussie motor-vehicle was a complete asshole? The answer, might surprise you.


Yes. The answer is yes. Very racist. And very wrong.

But this country does make a lot more sense now that I have this important piece of information. And it’s definitely easier to get around.

Beach Creatures (life takers)

So here I am at the beach standing in the water minding my own business when all of a sudden I’m descended upon by two massive beach creatures! I somehow managed to survive the attack and upload the footage. Take a look.


My New Best Friend (heart breaker)


Fern’s dog is named Mars and I love her so much. She has more energy than all the other dogs on the beach and she’s super fast! Just beautiful.


The Sun (life taker)

Since the beginning of time, man has blah blah blah. But seriously the sun down here will kill you. It’s why I don’t go anywhere without my trusty patented sunhat.

Free Hat

Sunscreen vendors hate me!

Adelaide International Airport (life taker)

Boarding my flight back to Sydney, the plane was configured for ramp access at the front and stairs access (via the tarmac) at the back. I was one of the last people to board and I was walking down the ramp and I followed two other passengers whom I assumed were also seated at the back of the plane. Anyway when we got to the bottom of the stairs the doors were all locked and it took about five minutes for the authorities to come get us because of course the doors at the top of the stairs locked shut behind us.


We were the last passengers to board.

So there you have it – all the things that have either killed or saved me so far on this trip. I expect I’ll have to modify the list after our passage to New Zealand – who knows what the open water has in store!

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