Die Hard Three

The Finns apparent dislike for user-friendly building access/egress is not restricted to the disabled. Check out this fire “escape”.

Yup, that's five stories.

Can you imagine actually trying to use this thing with an injured arm? Or in the winter? Or during a fire? Or while carrying a baby? Well I can and let me tell you: it does not end well

What’s the point of escaping from a fire only to die from a fall? It’s not visible in the photo but *again* the last section of this egress device is missing. It actually ends about eight feet (two and a half metres) off the ground. I’m told this is to stop people from climbing *up* the ladder. What does it not do? How about prevent people from using a bicycle leaned up against the wall to cover the missing three feet (ninety centimetres).

I’m not really sure what I’m complaining about here, my apartment in Berlin has no fire escape at all. I think my fear is that maybe the builders were given a choice: install a fire suppression system (i.e. sprinklers) or a fire escape (i.e. that shitty ladder) and they decided to go with the suicide device.

But I did fall in love with one aspect of Finland – the hinges! Yes hinges. You have got to see these things. They are amazing. You know what a pain in the ass it is to remove a door in Canada? You have to pop the pin in the hinges (good luck with that if they’ve been painted over) or you have to unscrew them from the wall. Well check this out:

One.

Two.

Disco!

Pretty awesome eh? And this is not even the best part. What makes these hinges kick ass is the fact that you can install them on a security door and the door can swing out. You know how the exterior doors (non-patio) to every house in Canada swing in? I think one of the reasons for this is that the hinges have to be on the same side as the direction door opens. If the door using the shitty Canadian hinges were to swing out, the pin would be on the outside. A home invader would simply have to pop the pins to remove the door. Not very secure.

Hinge on an exterior door (from the outside)

And from the inside. Note the security pin - I've never see those in Canada.

But with the Finnish hinges the door just needs to be open and lifted for it to be removed. Just awesome.

I bought a bunch of these hinges to bring back to Canada. A few of my friends live in multi-unit town homes and the upstairs units all have doors that open into a tiny landing and the stairs start right there. There is no place to put your shoes and when you want to leave you have to squeeze your way around the door. I’m going to see if any of them want to go Finnish style.

Finns have this habit of referring to their cottages as “summer cottages”. It seems a bit redundant to me – I have yet to see a winter cottage.

So for the rents’ final day in Europe we managed to acquire a car and we drove to Porvoo (pronounced “pour vough”) where my gf has her summer cottage. It was really cold and damp – it’s November and the cottage is on the Baltic sea about 40 minutes drive from Helsinki. If you’ve been to a cottage in Canada the buildings look pretty much the same as they do back home except without fail, each one here in Finland has a sauna.

The Water

The Village

The Cottage

The BBQ

The Ancient Viking Burial Ground and Pet Cemetery

I imagine I would like this place much more in the winter than in the summer. Even though it was only three degrees Celsius there were still mosquitoes buzzing around. I can only image what it’s like when it’s hot out. They don’t call them the Finnish Air Force for nothing.

When planning this visit to Finland with the rents I wanted to try and get over to one of the Baltic countries. I was thinking Latvia because I’ve been once already to Estonia and I thought it would be cool to add a new country to my list of places visited. We ended up deciding on Estonia.

1. It’s close – only 90 minutes by jetboat (more on this later)
2. I have a friend who lives there – it’s always nice to have a local tour guide (Evelyn)
3. It’s an opportunity – there are limited chances to visit places like this
4. It’s cheap – the cost of one restaurant meal in Tallinn is the same as ten in Helsinki

Still, I would have like to have seen Latvia. Evelin told me that the way to identify Latvians is by their six toes (on each foot). She added that this technique does not work very well in the winter so you have to invite them into the sauna.

So I was given a day pass for Monday and Evelin said she could make it to Tallinn for the afternoon (she ended up having to work so we were on our own). We decided to take the jetboat – forty euros for the one-day return journey – it was more expensive but much faster (90 minutes) than the larger, non-jetboats (3-4 hours). The ride over was pretty rough. At one point we were rocking so much the merchandise was falling off the shelves of the little store they had down below. I don’t have a lot of experience on boats but it could not have been that bad – I didn’t see anyone ralphing.

Local jetboat.

We spent the whole day in the old town. All in all it was pretty relaxing. Here are some pics for your enjoyment.

Local Transportation

Local Cuisine.

Localized amnesia (ah, the missing memories)

Local View

We got back into Helsinki around 2100. The boat ride was uneventful except they kept showing these old Soviet era cartoons (I think they were from Czechoslovakia) that I found hilarious because they were obviously the inspiration for Worker & Parasite. Classic.

When I visited France a couple of weeks ago I could not help but compare it to Germany and I am doing the exact same thing with Finland. The Finns do some things exceptionally well – even the Germans could use some of their ideas. For example, I previously reported on how in Berlin the garbage cans have cigarette disposal units attached to them. It’s not a terrible idea but it is when you put said unit right next to the opening for the garbage, problems are sure to arise.

Fire!

Now, they’ve done the same thing here in Helsinki but they’ve done it just a little bit different. Check this out.

Much better.

See the disposal unit is attached but separate from the garbage can. It is less likely that a lit cigarette butt (is that really how it is spelled?) will make its way into the trash.

So that was an example of something the Finns have done well.

And on the other end of the spectrum we have this.

Reminder: The requirement is to make things easier.

This has got to be the worst wheelchair access ramp in the history of disabled access. I don’t even know where to begin. To start it’s way too steep. And the steps in the middle are useless – it should be an unbroken surface for wheelchairs that have a shorter wheelbase at the front. Plus over here it’s winter for 8 months of the year, if there’s any ice or rain it becomes even more dangerous. And that last step: why would they just not extend the tracks until they touch the ground? Can you imagine being in a wheelchair, using this thing and then injuring yourself even further? That would be horrible.

I will give them some credit. It probably only cost about 50 Euros to install (in a country where a beer costs 10 Euros)

So I’m in Finland now visiting the Land of the Finns (a.k.a. Finland). It’s a very strange county. Did you know that Finland is bilingual and that it has two official languages? Until recently neither did I. The languages are Finnish and Swedish. See, for the longest time Finland was a province of the Kingdom of Sweden and when the Swedes were in charge they opened a bunch of adult learning centres to teach the locals how to speak Swedish. These learning centres (or schools) were moderately successful in that about 5% of the population of modern Finland considers themselves to be Swedish-speaking.

After you visit Finland you understand what constitutes a legitimate problem concerning bilingualism. Even without talking to anyone about the issues you can see them for yourself. Check out this calendar. That word in between the English and Swedish is the Finnish word for the fifth month of the year.

The Finnish word for "December" is literally "Christmas month". I'm not making this up.

And here is the display on the tram. They have to show the stops in both languages.

The Finnish name

And the same stop in Swedish.

There’s not very much real estate on there but they cram it in anyway.

Two things:

1. Swedish and Finnish are completely different. English and French are like cousins where you can kind of understand what being yelled at you even if don’t speak the other language. You have Rideau Centre and Centre Rideau. Not too far apart. Ottawa is Ottawa. Toronto is Toronto. Montreal is Montréal. But in Finland Turku is Åbo. Helsinki is Helsingfors. Kokkola is Karleby. Thank God for GPS.
2. The Finns seem to get paid by the letter: their words are super long. Check this out. In English Canada, children are forced to go to “mass” on Sunday morning. On the same mornings in Sweden people sleep in and skip “mässa”. Now compare this with Finland where on Sundays the hungover stumble out of bed to attend “ehtoollisjumalanpalvelus”.

So the next time you hear someone complain about Canadian official language “problems” you have my permission to laugh in their face and tell them to get their asses to Finland.

So this year I decided to participate in Movember. It has not been without its difficulties (there have been some problems). To baseline this I present for you now the rules of Movember:

1. Once registered at movember.com each mo bro must begin the 1st of Movember with a clean shaven face.
2. For the entire month of Movember each mo bro must grow and groom a moustache.
3. There is to be no joining of the mo to your side burns. (That’s considered a beard.)
4. There is to be no joining of the handlebars to your chin. (That’s considered a goatee.)
5. Each mo bro must conduct himself like a true country gentleman

First up is that I had to clean shave my entire face. In the past 15 years I’ve done this exactly once. I just hate shaving the goatee region – so I don’t. This was an adventure because I’d completely forgotten how to do it.

Day 0

My lip was a bit raw but I’ve recovered nicely.

So it’s been two weeks now and I think I have an impressive mo going here. I did have some difficulty deciding where to make the demarcation between mo and no-mo. Originally I wanted to keep my mo confined to my upper lip but my inexperience in grooming that area coupled with the fact that I’m in Germany forced me to include some handlebars. One can never be too careful.

Day 13

Here’s my page. Please make a donation! I will be including periodic updates.

Why are most sinks designed so that after washing your hands you have to drip water all over the tap and counter to shut off the water?

Does it not make more sense to have the sink flush with the wall and the tap (spout and handle) hanging side by side out from the wall over the sink? It baffles me why this is not the case. And if it’s big enough, you could put a small hand towel also over the sink to reduce the amount of water that drips everywhere when you go to dry your hands.

It’s probably like this because in the past there were only sinks with the faucets sitting on the counter. Your standard bathroom faucet / sink combination was a flat surface with a hole cut in it for the sink. The faucets themselves were one piece and to mount them they needed two standard-diameter holes (for cold and hot water) to be a fixed distance apart. Once the faucet standard was in place we basically got stuck with that configuration – especially when the metal sink included the mounting holes for the tap.

I think there would have been exceptions but they mostly would have been for high-end construction. Over time as the cost dropped for making non-standard fixtures, there would have been new offerings in the low-to-medium-end markets. Right now it’s very easy to find faucet combinations where the tap and the spout are physically separate. Most likely the popularity of under-mount sinks and natural stone countertops both contributed to this – it’s the customer who decides where the holes will be cut and one does not need the tap to be attached to the steel of the sink to make a proper seal. A leaky faucet mounted directly on a melamine-covered particleboard countertop will destroy it, natural stone is much more resilient.

What are you sinking about?

Ikea is selling a sink like this but they just missed the mark. They put the spout and handle holes on top of one another other instead of side by side. I could mount the spout on top but then you run into the problem described in the previous post where a blast of uncomfortable water hits your hands every time you use the sink, even when you don’t want to get your hands wet.

Sink vs. Faucet!

So what say you people, is this the way to go?

Ok, this one is a no-brainer. The majority of showers I’ve used in my lifetime have the tap positioned below the spout. Can someone please tell me why this is? I hate having to be in the way of the shower when it’s first activated. The water is freezing. Plus it is difficult to set the temperature while not in front of the tap.

I think in some cases it’s impossible to position it anywhere else – mostly with small bathrooms or with showers with glass doors. And when one looks at the overall cost of building / renovating a bathroom the extra cost of running a few more metres of pipe is almost negligible.

It’s also important for one to be able to reach the tap from inside the shower. This is in the event of a sudden change in temperature or to avoid splashing water everywhere when it’s time to exit the shower. And while we’re on this subject, has anyone come up with a system where one can turn on *and* off the water from two different locations? This would be cool.

Shower time!

Full disclosure: I’m also guilty of this shower tap location-crime. I have designed two showers in my lifetime and both times I did exactly what I am criticizing in this post.

I’m also aware of the telephone-style systems but I hate having to remove the nozzle and reposition it every time I take a shower.

I hope my crazy bathroom layout is not too frustrating. I’ve purposely blocked out parts of the floor plan because this one diagram includes four different ideas I want to incorporate into the project. If I showed them all at once it would be overwhelming – but do not fear, the complete floor plan will be revealed in due time. I will list the ideas for you now.

1. The cornerless room (previously discussed).
2. Installing a secondary sink in the shower
3. The tap for the shower is positioned so that one does not get sprayed with water when the shower is turned on
4. The main sink for the bathroom is set up like this
   – the spout and handle are separate from each other
   – the sink is flush with the wall behind it
   – and the spout and handle stick out from the wall over the sink

Number four requires a picture. I have one ready for the post but you’ll have to wait a couple of days.

The secondary sink in the shower. Some background. I love shaving in the shower. I find shaving in the sink to be very messy and a bit redundant. You’re already wet in the shower so what’s the point of drying off and then lathering up three minutes later.

But this is all personal preference so who really cares. What’s important is how the shower sink will function and if it will affect resale value or the usability of the shower.

So the shower I’m planning on installing is going to be a large one – a neo-angle 4′ x 4′ (1.2 m by 1.2 m). The sink will be part of a shelf that will run along the side that will stick out about 6″ or 8″ (15-20 cm) into the shower. It will have a single spout with a single handle. The main purpose will be for shaving and brushing my teeth.

And to be honest I can’t think of any reasons not to have a secondary sink in the shower.

• Lots of showers have shelves – who cares if the shelf has a sink?
• The shower is going to be huge – not a lot of space will be lost.
• The sink / shelf will have to be installed correctly – this could be another place for there to be a leak.
• It could look stupid – but I can spend a bit of money and make it look cool.

Sinks

Is there anything else?

I have all these ideas that I think are brilliant. The problem is that it’s possible (but unlikely) that they are not actually brilliant at all. Maybe a given idea has been tried before and it does not work. Maybe there’s a non-obvious reason for why something is not done a certain way and this unknown reason totally outweighs the benefits of change.

I think I know why the condiment companies have not standardized on container sizes. Raw materials and transpiration are still relatively cheap, there is no immediate increase in profit and there’s an inability (unwillingness?) to be forward-looking beyond the next 1-3 years.

French’s Mustard aside, I’m going to present some ideas I’ve had and I need you to tell me why they suck. As you can imagine they are mostly bathroom-related however some of them can be transferred to the rest of the house.

For this post I’m going to talk about corners. I hate them. When I’m cleaning my bathroom the hardest areas to clean are where two or three flat surfaces meet and the angle of intersection is 90 degrees or less. So my question is why don’t we simply make bathrooms that are devoid of corners? Here are some of the reasons I was able to come up with:

• cornerless rooms look stupid
• it’s too expensive (increased cost in time, materials, complexity)
• they are harder to repair
• they wear down faster
• it makes the room smaller
• they make the room dangerous (maybe humans are not used to navigating cornerless environments)
• it makes it impossible to place items against the wall
• bathrooms are designed and built by people who never have to clean them so they don’t actually think about how make an easily-cleanable bathroom
• we’ve always made them with corners
• cornerless rooms exist they are just not popular (but this begs the question “why are they not popular?”)

Which reasons am I missing here?

I’m in the process of planning to build a cornerless bathroom and I have the feeling I’m about to embark on something that is either groundbreakingly awesome or incredibly stupid.

But if my list is accurate then I am 100% going to move forward with this project. I don’t think any of the items on that list are reason enough to not build a cornerless bathroom.

And visitors to my house will be invited to clean my bathroom and they will see how easy it is. And then they will want cornerless rooms of their own.

Here is my cornerless bathroom design.

The Vim is under the sink.