Die Hard Three

Ein neuer Bericht sagt, dass Deutschland die besten Bürgersteige in der Welt hat. Die Studie untersuchte die Bürgersteige von 52 Nationen und festgestellt, dass deutsche System am besten in den folgenden Kategorien:

• Benutzerfreundlichkeit
• Wartungsfreundlichkeit
• Erscheinungsbild
• Wiederverwertbarkeit

Der Bericht wurde kritisiert kanadischen Bürgersteige, weil sie anfällig für Risse und sie sind sehr kostenintensive Wartung. Außerdem haben kanadische sidwalks dass lästige Dehnungsfugenprofil. Deutscher Bürgersteige verfügen nicht über diese Probleme.

Sie repot ausdrücklich gesagt, dass Deutschland die Bürgersteige viel besser als Kanadas sind.

Schöner

Wartungsfreundlichkeit

Benutzerfreundlichkeit

Wiederverwertbar

After 33 days on the road I finally move into my apartment. I’m looking forward to settling into a nice routine and not having to move around all the time. That being said, next weekend the landlord has some contractors coming in to do some repairs – I hope they let me stay while this is going on.

I escorted Evelin to the airport this morning. Again another painless endeavor. We budgeted 3 hours and we still had over an hour and a half to kill before her flight. It was all good cause we have stuff to do – find stamps, have breakfast, talk to the customs guys, go shopping for books.

Before?

So I talked to the customs guys and they informed me that one has to have the purchased-goods available for inspection. This is important because if I have to wrap everything up for shipping I need to make sure I can open and reseal it at the airport if they ask to see what’s in the box.

The apartment is pretty cool. There was some construction or something going on when I went to pick up the key – I hope this is just a daytime thing. Otherwise everything is perfect. The manager even offered to bring an extra mattress for when the rents get here. I hope they don’t mind sleeping on the floor.

Holy crap! What a day – I don’t even know where to begin. So I’m collecting a friend at the airport. Her flight does not land until 22:50 so I have lots of time after school to complete the following tasks (in no particular order)

1. Figure out the procedure for collecting my rents from the airport – they are coming to visit in two weeks
2. Get some info for operation WHISKEY CHARLIE, specifically the procedure for purchasing, packing, and checking a second piece of over-sized luggage – costs, location in the airport, how to pay, VAT refund – stuff like that
3. Check out the merchandise at this super-massive renovation store called Praktiker – it’s located right near the airport

So nice!

To and From Berlin Tegel (TLX)

This was surprisingly fast.

• 04 min – walk from German school to Hackescher Markt Station
• 04 min – S-bahn to Friedrichstraße station
• 05 min – Switch to the U6 Subway line
• 10 min – U6 Subway to Karl-Schumacher Platz
• 10 min – Wait for bus
• 10 min – Bus 125 Tegel to TLX

Visit to the Praktiker

This place is huge – think the biggest Home Depot you’ve ever been to and then double it. I’m kicking myself cause I only have 90 minutes before it closes. I go in past the aquariums and head upstairs to the bathroom section. Here is what I find:

• 254 euros for a complete toilet kit – this is not bad
• the toilet is small enough to be checked as regular baggage (38 x 42 x 55 cm)
• the cistern is too big and will have to be shipped as “bulky baggage” (18 x 52 x 117 cm)
• both items are below the 23 kg weight restriction
• they don’t have the low-frame cistern as a regular item – special order: 359 euros. Ouch.
• a plain, un-boxed toilet bowl is about 30 euros
• the cistern on its own is 160 euros
• packing materials to prevent shipping damage will cost about 20 euros
  – 12 sheets of Styrofoam 20 mm (50 cm x 100 cm) 8 euros
  – duct tape 9 euros
  – knife to cut the Styrofoam 3 euros
• to get the VAT refund one simply has to fill out a form (below) and get the receipt stamped.

• the VAT refund one gets at the airport is only about 11% (see the chart below)
• to get the full 19% the purchaser has to return to the exact same store within three months with the store receipt, passport, and processed VAT claim – lame

Logistics – getting to the airport with a two-piece toilet.

The exit from the Praktiker is less than 100 m from the bus station that goes to the airport. The bus itself is set up for people with lots of luggage. There’s a wide open space for baggage and strollers.

Note: it is unknown at this time if all the buses on this route have this configuration. Right now I’m thinking it would be possible to take a cistern and toilet (properly packed) on the bus. I should check the bus company’s website to see if the can refuse service for too much baggage. If one of the clerks can help me take the stuff to the bus stop, I should be able to load and unload the gear and just grab a trolly at the airport. Man I hope it does not snow.

I also have to package everything so it doesn’t get damaged in transit. I ask the lady at the service desk if I could purchase it the day before and wrap it up so on travel day I’m just picking it up and going. This is two days before Christmas – gonna be an adventure. She says it shouldn’t be a problem.

In addition, I have to make sure that they actually have this stuff in stock. If I get there on the 21st and they’re backordered, this will all have been for not. And finally I need to make sure that all the parts are there. The box for the one remaining cistern from Mr. Clever had been opened and resealed. I’d hate to get home to find a missing part.

Berlin Tegel

Next I head to the airport. I have to mention that the bus stop to go to the airport is directly below the flight path for inbound aircraft. So as I’m waiting for the bus I get to see about 10 different jets fly directly overhead. This is so cool.

So I get to the airport and I head to the information desk. I need the location of

• the VAT refund desk
• the Customs desk
• the Lufthansa ticket counter
• the bulky baggage drop off

The lady who works there gives me all that plus the order of operations:

1. Customs
2. VAT Refund
3. Ticket Counter
4. Check in
5. Bulky Baggage

She’s super friendly and not at all phased by my barrage of questions. And when she finds out my flight isn’t for another 9 weeks she laughs and sends me on my way.

Next up is the Lufthansa ticket desk. I know that I’m going to have to pay for the extra bag and this is the place to do it. They are not busy at all and I get ushered over to the Super-Elite / Star Alliance Gold counter. Rainer is super helpful. He speaks perfect English and really knows his stuff. He’s also happy that my flight isn’t until Christmas. I can tell he’s done this a million times and usually the passenger has to catch a flight in two hours (not two months). We take our time and go through it all. When I tell him that I want to ship a couple of toilets he almost falls off his chair. From this point on he can’t help but grin. I can tell he’s got a great story to tell his wife.

So pay attention Star Alliance customers, the following applies if:

1. you bought your ticket after June 1, 2011 (they changed all the rules on June 1) and
2. the first leg of your journey is a partner airline (if your whole journey is AC then I think it’s just $70 CAN for oversized and $70 for an additional regular bag) and
3. you are on a non-refundable economy ticket (business class tickets can check more luggage) and
4. you are not Aeroplan Elite / SuperElite / Star Alliance Gold (these guys also get additional luggage provisions) and
5. your baggage is checked all the way through (if your baggage is not checked through you may have to pay twice – once for the partner airline and once for Air Canada) and
6. you are flying with Lufthansa (the other airlines will charge different amounts)

Note:

• it also depends where you are flying to – if you are flying to Brazil for some reason they have retained the 2 bag no-cost checked luggage
• standard luggage – max 23 kg weight, max 158 cm in linear dimensions (length + width + height)
• oversized luggage – greater than 23 kg weight or greater than 158 cm linear dimensions but less than 32 kg in weight, 292 cm in linear dimensions, and/or 203 cm in length.
• Air Canada Cargo handles the shipment of all bags that exceed the oversized luggage values.

There are six cases

Case 1

• 0 euros – first item – standard luggage

Case 2

• 0 euros – first item – standard luggage
• 300 euros – second item – oversized luggage

Case 3

• 100 euros – first item – oversized luggage
• 50 euros – second item – standard luggage

Case 4

• 100 euros – first item – oversized luggage

Case 5

• 0 euros – no items checked

Case 6

• 0 euros – first item – standard luggage
• 50 euros – second item – standard luggage

VAT refund

The VAT refund counter is closed but they have a website that’s pretty helpful. All that is needed is

• passport number
• credit card
• name and address
• valid customs stamp
• item
• receipt from the store

Customs

Is located right next door to the VAT counter.

Conclusion

Anyway, I’m glad I was able to get all this sorted out. It would have been a disaster if I had done all this work to find out that it was going to cost an extra 300 euros to check an oversized bag. Plus I now know where everything is in the airport. This provides some measure of comfort. I’m going to save the analysis for another post. Stay tuned.

They actually have an aquarium section

So after almost a thousand words about opera, I’ve decided to return to writing about my one true love.

...and hopefully we'll be together forever.

I going to buy two toilets while I’m here in Germany. Well, one and a half to be exact. See, I was over here last year and I bought one of those wall toilets where the cistern is enclosed in the wall and not sitting on the floor like we have in Canada. I like this style because they are much easier to clean and they take up less space.

It was a bit of a nightmare to get both parts (the cistern and the bowl) from the Obi in Siegburg to the airport in Frankfurt (about one hundred and fifty kilometers). Some of the passengers on the train seemed a bit annoyed by the amount of space I was taking up, but when we arrived at FRA I managed to get everything out of the car without disrupting the natural order of things (I hope). Then there was a bit of running around at the airport to find the over-sized luggage area – plus I had to pay an extra $50.

When I arrived in Ottawa the cistern was intact but the bowl part had broken. This is the half I need to buy on this trip. The full toilet is going to be for the second-floor bathroom. As I mentioned previously I came up with a design that I like and I hope it works out.

So before I start on this project I have to see if it all makes sense financially and logistically – I need to look at all the costs. I hope you’re sitting comfortably because it’s going to be a long ride. Here are the factors to consider:

1. Cost of an equivalent item in Canada (from Amazon.com)

Concealed Toilet Carrier Frame (1)
Wall Mount Toilet Bowl (2)
Flush Actuator Plate (1)
Toilet Seat and Cover (2)
——————————————-
Total $1 150 CAN (approx.)

This includes a one-time cost of $100 drive to to the USA to collect the product (stupid Amazon does not ship toilets to Canada). It also assumes free shipping.

2. Cost of purchasing it over here.

Same list as above is $730 CAN (approx.) – This includes a $70 shipping fee and VAT refund. Does not include re-packaging costs.

This would be a total savings of approximately $420 CAN – subject to change.

That's some strange-looking German

3. Variables that need to be quantified

– The previously-mentioned prices will change between now and Christmas. To get the final cost I need to re-evaluate the exchange rates closer to purchase time.
– How difficult is it to get a VAT refund at the airport? And for that matter, what is the German VAT? I found something online that said 19%. I wonder if the whole thing gets refunded.
– Will they do the refund in Berlin? I’m flying home via Frankfurt – does this make a difference? With a fifty-five minute connection time I won’t be able to do anything in FRA except run to the gate.
– I’m flying on two different airlines – Lufthansa (AC code-share) from Berlin to Frankfurt and then Air Canada to Ottawa. They should check my luggage all the way through so I’m not too worried about this.
– What do I need to do at the store to register my purchase for the VAT refund?
– How am I going to get all this gear from the Obi to the airport in Berlin?
– How am I going to package the items so that they do not get damaged in transit?
– I heard that the items you purchase have to be sealed by the store. I’m not sure why this is but this might make re-packaging difficult.
– Plus the repackaging itself is going to take time and money – right now I’m thinking sheets of Styrofoam and duct tape. This would have easily saved the previous toilet.
– There are weight and size restrictions for checked luggage – max 23 kg and 156 cm total perimeter (length + width + depth). If they give me a hard time I might just encase everything in a spherical-shaped container.
– I’m going to need someone with a car to collect me from the airport in Ottawa – normally I would just take the bus.
– This is all going to be in late December – snow might be a factor.

I’m going to do some recon tonight. I have to pick up a friend at the airport and I’m going to get there early to try and answer some of these questions. Full report tomorrow.

End transmission.

So last week I agreed to go to the opera with Nicole. I’m normally not into this sort of thing but one of the guys in my German class is an opera singer and he’s piqued my interest. So I figure I should check out at least one while I’m in Berlin. Plus it might make a good blog post.

So last night I’m on the U2 line on my way to the show and about 25 English-speaking people get on at Hausvogtaiplatz (this one I didn’t make up). They’re all in their fifties and dressed up like they are going to the opera. I think I can safely say that this is the noisiest I’ve ever heard it on the subway here. It’s surprising because none of them appear to be drunk.

The English are too many!

I get to the opera house about 17:30 and collect my ticket. It’s pretty cool cause we’re seated in the first row

Left my opera glasses at home

of the highest balcony. We sit down, I take of my shoes, stretch out my legs, and dig in for the next four and a half hours. At 18:00 sharp they begin. There’s no “please turn off your cellphones and pagers” or “tonight’s presentation of Der Rosenkavalier is brought to you in part by the Ottawa Citizen and Acer Computer Systems – for all your computing needs: trust Acer” – they just start the show right away.

Wait a second – the majority of you out there have probably never even seen an opera. Let me explain how it works (note the sample set of one)

1. Opera is ALL singing – there’s no spoken dialogue
2. There is a lot of physical movement involved – the performers are running around the stage whilst singing. It looks very complicated.
3. It’s forbidden to use one’s computer during the performance – but they let you stay if you turn it off and promise not to use it for the remainder of the show.
4. They have “untertitel” or subtitles so you can understand what is happening. The words are projected in white on a black screen above the stage (overtitles?). Even for native German speakers it can be difficult to understand the performers as they are singing all their lines.
5. The whole thing is in the native language. This one is German – the singing and the subtitles, however one guy was singing in Italian for a minute or two.
6. Operas are long. This one had three seventy-five-minute periods with two thirty-minute intermissions – just like a hockey game
7. When it is finished it does not matter how enthusiastically you cheer for an encore, they will not perform another opera.
8. The music is all performed live by a professional, dedicated orchestra that is situated in some sort of cave between the stage and the audience. They play continuously only stopping during the intermissions.
9. The performers do not use microphones. They must have incredibly strong voices to be heard all the way at the back.
10. Tickets in the nose-bleeds are 28 euros.
11. The stadium is about the same size as the NAC.

Ok, back to the show. Der Rosenkavalier opens with an elaborate bedroom set where two of the characters are engaging in what appears to be some sort of post-coital singing ritual. One of the characters is a woman – it’s obvious from her dress, appearance, and singing voice. But the other is dressed like a man with short hair, but sings like a female opera singer. It took us a while to figure this out but this male character is being played by a woman (sorry fellas). It didn’t help that we were way at the back. So a few minutes later the obviously male lead (played by Enrico Palazzo) shows up and I’m thinking: ok, I kinda know what’s going on. Woman is having an affair with a man (or is it a woman, doesn’t matter) and then the husband / father / uncle shows up and hilarity ensues.

But then Enrico starts chasing the male character who is now disguised as a woman (confused, would we?) around the stage in an I-want-to-sex-you-up sort of way. I can’t understand what’s going on. I thought he was her husband so then why is he going after the lover of his wife? I mean, I’m way at the back and I suspect that something is wrong, so surely Enrico can see that’s it’s a dude. Or is it a chick? I don’t know.

Now I know you’re all thinking “please continue Jason” but I’m at minute fifteen of a four and a half hour play that I do not understand. So to wrap this up, here are some random thoughts about the opera

• The floor of the stage was made from a black reflective material. It looked so cool

Love that floor. Hate my camera.

• The sets were amazing – lots of mirrors and glass made the stage look huge.
• At one point I counted 50 performers on stage at once. Incredible.
• I think operas are the olde-timey version of movies – massive productions, top talent, while plays are more like TV – smaller scale, larger quantity.
• For one to be able to sing this loudly, for this length of time, is truly remarkable.

I’m glad I went. Even thought I did not understand the story, the music was awesome. And for 28 euros, three and a half hours of live music being played by a professional orchestra is a sweet deal.

The first time one does something is the scariest. Today I’m using the laundry at Eva’s for only the second time. She showed me the sequence before she went on vacation and it seemed straightforward enough.

1. Plug in the machine
2. Turn on the water
3. Set it to 40 degrees
4. Put the laundry in
5. Close the door
6. Open the tray
7. Add the soap
8. Add the water softener
9. Close the tray
10. Hit start
11. Wait 90 minutes
12. Remove clothes
13. Turn off the water
14. Unplug the machine

I mean what could possibly go wrong? So I think I’ve done everything properly but then I have no idea of the difference in the sounds of a healthy washing machine versus a broken on. And it’s making some pretty strange noises. It’s right in the next room and I have to go check on it at least twice.

But today is my last day at Eva’s. I’m officially relocating from the futon in her kitchen to the mattress’ in Béné’s spare room and I move into my apartment on Wednesday. That will make a total of 33 days of staying with friends and family. I wanna give a big shout-out to Doug / Kaew, Jan / Rita, Eva, and Bénédicte / Harry. Your spare beds, sofas and futons were many times more comfortable than the other alternatives available to me – mainly sleeping on the floor of the train station or in the various parks and bus terminals around the cities in which you live.

I saw a headline this morning

English name clear advantage in landing job, researchers find

This does not surprise me at all. In university I had a friend with an ethnic name and he got sick and tired of not getting any responses to his job applications (during high school) so he changed his name to something English and he got a job right away.

What I think is more interesting is what the article didn’t say, specifically how this name bias affects people with strange-sounding English names. How difficult is it for someone named Supermann Kanadaflag or Sideeffects Firstdown to find work? I’m sure someone out there has named at least one of their kids Captain Starship. I know I would.

I read once that, in Germany, one is not allowed to name their kids just anything. I think some parents wanted to name their kid Pumuckl and the government said no. Pretty invasive if you ask me. Anyway all this leaves me wondering who would have a harder time finding a job, George Papahartofylakakopoulos or Starbuck Timeunit.

And there’s only one way to find out.

At school today these two Italian students told me of an authentic Italian restaurant near where they live and I just had to try it – been eating waaayyy too much döner lately.

I take a couple of trams to get there and after about fifteen minutes of walking around, I finally find it. It’s pretty cool – tables scattered haphazardly around a large bright room. I grab a seat at a table big enough for 8 as all of the smaller ones were reserved. It takes about 20 minutes for someone to take my order and 8 minutes after that they bring me my pizza – mushrooms and cream cheese. It was delicious.

Just as I’m finishing I’m joined at my table by eight Germans (or so they say – I think one of them was from Austria). As they’re chatting away and I’m working on the design for the second-floor bathroom reno, these two guys enter the bar dressed in olde-timey clothes carrying these giant walking sticks. One of them taps his stick on the floor to get everyone’s attention, makes a forty-seconds-long speech in German and then walks around the bar collecting money from all the patrons

My tablemates explain:

• Every year, all across Germany about a thousand young craftsmen, woodworkers, tailors, seamstresses, and trades people put all their stuff in storage and head out on a journey that a) cannot be less than three year and b) during which they are not allowed to pass within a fifty kilometer radius of their hometown.
• They carry a book with them that the mayor (of each city that they visit) signs
• They mayor also directs them to places they can find work in their area
• They are not allowed to ask for money
• They are not allowed to pay for travel (hitchhiking is popular)
• I think the goal is to learn how their craft is practiced outside of where they live

This is really all that I can remember. One of the girls (who happened to be dressed like a sailor) said they are called Walz. And now that I’m done writing this post, I’m going to go see what Wikipedia has to say about these guys. Seems very strange to my Canadian mind.

This morning before class I go for my soon-to-be daily visit to the Obi (German Home Depot – they even have the orange). I’m heading past the Insect-Stop

I wonder how they came up with the name…

then past the Cat-Stop

Not really sure what this product does.

to the flooring section to check out the tiles (fyi: about half the price compared to Canada) and I see this.

OMFG

And it’s only 30 euros. Unbelievable. I have three (and by three I mean six) questions:

1. How long has this technology existed?

Vick – would you have paid 40 dollars for a tool that would enable you to install all that laminate flooring sans the sawdust?

2. What has prevented its adoption in Canada?

Export restrictions? Pressure from “Big Saw”? We might never know.

3. What else are the Germans hiding from us?

I intend to find out.

Checkpoint Charlie

On Saturday I went to see the Checkpoint Charlie museum. My classmates came too.

C Charlie

It is the most famous Checkpoint in the whole world. It is more famous than the West Alburg Vermont checkpoint on the USA-Canada border.

A checkpoint is the proper way to cross a border. Today I will talk about people who did not use the checkpoint.

There are many non-checkpoint ways to cross the border.

Tunnels

Many people tried to dig to freedom. This is my least favorite escape method. This is because I am claustrophobic and it is very dangerous.

A secret tunnel

Tunnels are good because many people can use them.

Once, a group of old people wanted to help Erwin Becker with his tunnel. There were six men and three women. The men’s average age was 66 years old.  Erwin said no because his tunnel was too small for the old people. He was afraid they would die.

The old people did not make an anonymous phone call. Instead they built a better tunnel. Their tunnel was 1.75 m high. This was so their wives could walk to West Berlin.

After they reached freedom they were all very happy. Also one of the old people punched Erwin right in the face.

This is my favorite story of all time.

Aircraft

Many people tried to fly to freedom. I like this because of the high chance of success. Also because the escapees built their own airplanes. How cool is that?

Fly!

Some people built balloons.

Most built airplanes.

Once two brothers flew two airplanes into East Germany to rescue their other brother. One plane landed in East Berlin to get the brother. The other plane circled overhead. This was to look out for danger. It was also for if the first plane crashed. It was the longest 16 minutes of their lives.

This is my second-favorite story of all time.

Boats

One guy built a sailboat out of hockey sticks. We do this in Canada all the time. He was on the water for 15 hours. Then he was rescued.

Das Boot

Cars

Many people tried to hide in cars that crossed the border. This is insane.

It is very easy for a dog to find a person.

Will find you.

Other

No one tried to use a trebuchet to escape East Germany.

Or a rocket.

The end.