Die Hard Three

For the remainder of the 2014 World Cup I’m going to be playing FIFA Bingo with FIFA’s Code of Conduct. Every time I see one of their “Ten Golden Rules” broken either in an implicit or explicit manner by a player, an officiator, a team, or the FIFA system (a system the authors of the Golden Rules themselves created), I’m going to add the rule (or a just comment for multiple instances related to the same rule) to this blog post.

So let’s get started.

In honour of a system that allows for scenarios where teams are rewarded for not winning (like today’s USA vs. Germany game where a tie advances both teams) I present to you:

Play to Win

Winning is the object of playing any game. Never set out to lose. If you do not play to win, you are cheating your opponents, deceiving those who are watching, and also fooling yourself. Never give up against stronger opponents but never relent against weaker ones. It is an insult to any opponent to play at less than full strength. Play to win, until the final whistle.

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To my Spanish friends – I know many of you are upset and disappointed with your team’s performance in their first game of this World Cup. But I would like to remind you that in the previous tournament, you guys also lost the opener against Switzerland and then you went on to win the whole thing.

Sometimes it can be better to start slow. France did the same thing in 2006 on their way to a second place finish.

When it comes to soccer I’ve mostly been a supporter of the Germans and the Dutch (and also the US and sometimes England and maybe France – depending on who’s playing) and back in the day, I never, ever imagined finding myself not cheering against the Spanish soccer team.

My main objection to Spanish soccer was that guy Christian Ronaldo. He was always diving and faking injury and I hate that aspect of the game – especially when it’s practiced by its “best” player.

And then one day my position on Spanish soccer began to change. It started when someone informed me that Ronaldo doesn’t play for Spain – he’s Portugese. Also his name is Christiano. And then Spain won the Euro Cup. And then they won the World Cup. Then the Euro Cup again.

This is very impressive. Apparently it’s standard practice to pay off the officiators for one soccer tournament – but three in a row – that’s really difficult. I then did some research and found out that Spain won these tournaments fair and square (by FIFA standards).

I also got to meet some super-cool Spanish people here in Ottawa. I hosted a dinner party for like ten of them. They brought lots of wine, told me my cooking was delicious, and one of them drew for me a really awesome picture of Wolverine.

It is now my prized possession. 

This all got me thinking that the Spanish team is actually pretty cool. And I want to wish them well with their soccer. But right now (at this juncture) Spain has the best chance of defeating Germany – my main team. They eliminated the Germans in two of the three previous tournaments and after the disappointment of 2006 I really want to see the celebration in Berlin – even if I cannot be there in person.

For me today has been a day of democracy extremes. First I had lunch in the very seats of power of our top-ten Human Development Index nation at the Parliamentary Restaurant with a sitting Canadian Senator (no, it was not Daniel Alfredsson).

Then I took a constitutionally-protected nap before going to the polling station to decline to vote in the provincial election – really what’s the point – they’re all terrible.

And right now (on the other end of the democratic spectrum) I’m about to become a spectator of an event organized by the most undemocratic organization in modern human history – La Federation International du la Football Association.

And I am celebrating this undemocraticness by sitting alone in a packed bar, waiting for my friends, holding onto a table that seats eight, supporting Croatia (wearing red) while literally every single other person in the bar is scrambling to find a seat and cheering for Brazil.

Let the games begin.

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